Always Yours
by CelestialSara126
Summary: I'll always be your girl. And just like that, she was gone.


Author's Note: Feedback is wonderful and always welcome. However, if you feel the need to send a less than positive review, please keep it to yourself. I can take the good with the bad, but not on something I've worked hard on. Thank you.

**Special Thanks to cincoflex for being my beta reader. You're awesome!**

Always Yours

_Don't look at him. Keep your mind on the man in front of you. One more look and you know it's over. _

Sara Sidle tightens her grip on her bouquet, hoping to relieve some of the stress on what should be the happiest day of her life. In some small way she actually was happy. Happy to finally begin life...no that's it. _My life doesn't begin today...it begun the day I met him_.

_How can he just stand there and do nothing? Well in a minute he'll be given the opportunity to finally do something just like every other person has since the beginning of time. _

"Dearly Beloveded. We are gathered here today to join in the coming together of two of God's beautiful people – James Notman and Sara Sidle. Before we begin, is there anyone here today that has reason why these two should not be wed? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

_Say something Grissom, please. _

Silence fills the room and a pair of blue eyes look up to capture a pair of brown ones begging for release of some kind. Only the sought out release never comes.

As the minister begins the ceremony, Sara closes her eyes tightly and a small tear escapes down her cheek. Thank God her veil covers her face. If her bouquet was still in her hands she'd have a tiny way of expressing her anger, but her maid of honor took it before the minister began.

Grissom stands in the forth row of the church to watch an event that burns him to the very core. It should be him up there with her, not James. James will never appreciate her the way she deserves. _Well Gil, you made your bed. Now go lay in it._

_God she looks beautiful_. Her hair is pinned up with curls with just a tint of what would appear to be glitter. Make-up is good, but then again she never really needed make-up. She is beautiful just as she is, just like on the day they first met. Her dress is wonderfully done with the help of a few bride's maids. She never was interested in material things like that.

_I'd look at her, but I'm afraid._ _You're not afraid! You won't look at her because you feel guilty. Guilty for seeing her in pain and not doing anything about it. _

While the minister speaks his part, two heads slightly bow and remember just a moment ago...

She's sitting in front her dressing room mirror, looking at it as if it will give her the answer she so desperately wants. Tears form and temporarily blind her from the form of Grissom standing near the door.

"Grissom! What are you doing here? You're suppose to be with everybody else."

"I'll be with them shortly. Right now, I just want to be with you."

Melissa, one of the bridesmaid's, pokes her head in to announce that the ceremony will begin shortly.

Sara nods her head and as soon as the door shut, she walks over to Grissom, who meets her half way across the room.

"It's funny. I came here with something to say and now I can't say it."

"I know what you mean." She takes her hand and intertwines it with his.

He doesn't say anything, not trusting his voice at the moment. He has a feeling of what she'll say – I can't do this, Let's run away together. And of course he'll reply with the correct response, which will lead to more sadness for her.

"How did we end up like this?"

"I failed to act Sara. It's my fault honey. You were always there and I did nothing. And today will forever remain a constant reminder of my actions. After today, you'll no longer be mine."

"I'll always be yours Grissom. A ring and an agreement won't change that."

"But it does Sara."

The tears now flow freely down her face. Her eyes staring at him head on, not once blinking.

Grissom takes his hand out of their embrace and takes a few steps back, trying to find an object to look at. _Keep your eyes on anything, but her. You look in her eyes now, you might as well call defeat._

"Grissom there's still time. Let's..."

"Sara we can't and you know this. Today is not about us. It's about you and James, your future husband."

"Stop! Just stop it! Why are you doing this? Why are you just letting me slip through your fingers so smoothly? And James is not my husband, not yet anyway. Don't you understand what you are to me? What you're always going to be? You're the love of my life. There will never be another you. Everyone else is just going to be second best. Is that what you want for me? Just second best?"

"I want you to be happy, I want..."

"I'm happy with you, with the exception of this moment."

"Sara? It's time." Melissa leaves the room as quickly as she came, lining up with the rest of the bridesmaids.

"I believe that's your cue."

"Grissom..."

"No, you're not doing this Sara. Not today. Right now you're going to walk out that door and then walk down the aisle to your soon to be husband. You're going to forget about this moment and leave all our memories behind. Now Go."

Sara didn't move. How could she? His words have paralyzed her. _How could I ever forget if you're all I'll ever think about?_

Sara feels a wisp of air around her face and realizes it comes from Grissom's retreating form.

"Do you Sara Sidle, take James Notman to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

_Don't do it. Don't look at him. He didn't want you remember!_

Looking at him out of the corner of her eyes, she speaks. "I do."

Grissom takes note of this and instead of bowing his head, he holds her gaze.

As James finally speaks his "I do", Grissom also speaks it.

Sara smiles what she could, knowing that'll be the closest thing to a wedding they'll ever have.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." The music strikes up and everyone stands clapping their hands at the happy couple, unaware of the bride's buried feelings.

The reception was wonderful. Everyone appeared to be having a good time, even Sara. Of course that all went down the drain as soon as the traditional dance of the husband and wife started up. She didn't dare look at him, but did anyway. She couldn't help it, she was in love.

During the dance she would steal glances at him and to keep suspicion away she would lightly kiss her husband's neck or cheek. James responded by running his hand through her hair like he always did when she was close.

Everything died down a little after midnight, which Sara was much grateful for.

Grissom left earlier on in the night after her and James's dance, which she couldn't really blame him for. Seeing them dance together probably stung him to the core, verifying their marriage in front of him.

As they drove away from the reception hall, Sara suddenly felt the need to go back to the church. She didn't know why, but she just had to.

"Can you drop me off at the church for a few minutes?"

James looked over at his wife.

"I just feel like I need to be there. I can't explain it. Please just drop me off for a few minutes. I promise you that nothing is wrong, I just would like to go spend a moment in the church."

James sighed. "Ok. Ask and you shall receive. I'll just have the driver drive around the city for awhile. Take your time." He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss then watched her walk up the steps to the church.

Sara sat in the fourth row where Grissom sat today. Call her crazy, but his scent still lingered there like he never left. Her wedding flashed before her eyes and she started to cry silently.

"I thought you would be half way gone on your honeymoon right now."

Sara looked up into the softest pair of blue eyes ever to grace this world.

"You would be correct, only I had the need to be here right now. Why are you here?"

Still standing, Grissom held out his hand to her and she accepted. Walking to where her and James stood only hours before, only Grissom stood in what he believed should have been his place.

"I know what you wanted from me today..."

"Don't. I don't want to hear it, I really don't."

Grissom reached into his left side pocket and produce a white gold ring. Sara didn't know what to say. What did one say in a situation like this?

The ring didn't carry a diamond or any other jewels. It was just simply plain. It didn't matter anyways.

Sara took the ring extended to her and held it with such gentleness, like it would break if she held it too tight. She took notice of the inscription on the outside. It read 'Since I Met You.'

"Sara will you marry me?"

"But Grissom it's too late. You're too late."

"Officially I'm late, yes. But unofficially I'm not."

"I don't understand. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I love you and though we'll never be together by law, we'll always be together in every other way imaginable. And something no one else will ever be able to touch."

The tears flowed freely down her face now and she didn't stop to brush them off. She finally was getting what she wanted.

"Yes Grissom. I'll marry you."

Grissom took Sara's hand in his and began his vow.

"I don't believe Shakespeare has the right words for me at this moment to describe my feelings for you, so tonight I quote Pablo Neruda, who I believe has the right words."

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

The cool metal of the ring sliding on her ring finger awakened Sara and tore her eyes away from him for only a second.

Grissom noticed that her ring finger was bare before putting the ring on her finger. _She must have taken her official ring off_.

"I'm certain of two things in this world. One is that sometimes science isn't enough. Two is that I have the love of a man named Gil Grissom. A man I have fallen in love with over and over again. You've been my shoulder to cry on, my rock to lean on and now you're becoming the other half of my heart. I love you because it's the only thing I know how. I love you Grissom."

Grissom gently wiped away her tears after her 'I love you'.

"I love you Sara," whispered Grissom as he slowly descended his lips upon hers. Both moaned at the instant contact. Sara wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling him to her to close any space left. Grissom held her by the waist like she was his last lifeline on this earth.

The moment was short lived when the sound of a car horn was heard. Time was up.

Grissom and Sara broke the kiss, but still held on to one another.

"I need to go. I told him I wouldn't be long."

Sara slowly pulled herself away. She didn't get far when she was suddenly stopped. Turning around she found her answer – her hand was still in contact with his. She never let go.

Grissom brought her hand to his and kissed her ring finger. A minute later he let go.

Walking down the aisle Sara played with her "wedding" ring, contemplating whether to replace it before James sees. _Oh hell with it! It's dark out, he won't see it. I'll replace it in the morning. Put it on a chain around my neck, close to my heart, where he'll always be._

Before she reached the two oakwood doors, Grissom called out to her.

"Still my girl?"

She gave him the smile that stole his heart years before and moved closer to the door before she was fully out of sight.

"I'll always be your girl."

And just like that, she was gone.


End file.
